Forgive

Recently, I have been involved and heard a variety of other’s relationship issues. The relationship of parents has a big impact on their children. There are some people around me who are struggling with this impact and a lot of wounded people out there. I think that a human being is the most complicated creature to comprehend. I am much more interested in understanding and helping people than addressing some technical issues related to Computer Science, though I like what I am doing (☺). One thing that recently strikes my head is about forgiveness. The fact that I have someone to forgive implicates that I have gotten hurt. Furthermore, the longer I struggle, the deeper the wound gets. Forgiving someone is the first step to deal with this deep wound such as removing a tumor from our body. It superficially seems to be good for the one who is forgiven. However, I think that the person forgiving the other is the very first person to get the benefit of forgiveness. Besides, this is not it. As new flesh comes out and molds the place that the tumor is removed, new good relationship will help to heal the wound completely. Unless the tumor is removed, it is difficult to expect that it may get naturally recovered. And let's be courageous to dive into new relationship!
(The picture is from "www.weather.com")

what I have/achieved or who I am?

Finally, Winter comes here in January. I missed this cold air which pierces through to the bone. This cold air also refreshes my nerve to be awake and aware of where I am. ...... I want to finish this journey, but I am feeling that nothing is fulfilled. I have worked all the way and tried not to be lazy. I have reminded myself how precious this moment is. After all these tough seasons, I don't feel it's ready to wrap up. In general, people said that the output or the result is not as important as the process. However, even in the Bible, it is written "That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God." [Ecclesiastes 3:13] I know one reason which causes me to feel this way. I have a kind of high standard. But it's natural to expect something enough from all the efforts. Then what has been wrong? Did I set my heart to the wrong direction? Many people around me have the same word for this "Hang on" and "Perseverance." Now, I remember words in Romans "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Compared to other people in miserable situations, I have more than enough. So whenever I think about what I have and what I achieved, I cannot be satisfied. I need to return to the being issue, who I am. I need to see my inner self and try to find a deepest calling.